surrender

This whole year I thought I was having a crisis in which I was coming to terms with the fact that my life was my own – that I was crossing the threshold from adolescence to adulthood – and assuming all the responsibilities that come with that crossing. But what God has shown me is that He has been teaching me the perfection of this revelation. I am responsible for my life. But my life is no longer my own. In order to remain true to my convictions a crucifixion of self must result, a complete and terrifying surrender of everything I have come to call “mine.” I find myself at a crossroads, knowing what path I have chosen, finally beginning to understand the cost. Surrender looks so much nicer written on some arbitrary piece of paper that I can lose or misplace, typed up on a word document I can save away in the depths of my laptop’s memory.